So now the real damage begins. In the blink of an eye all my friends had vanished. Even my own older brother started behaving differently toward me, ever increasing the rift between us. My younger brother, on the other hand, was less affected and seemed more indifferent than shocked or angered - this most likely was because a few years later he "came out"!
This totally alone existence lasted for a few more weeks. Then for whatever reason, the female gender of my former friends started to trickle back. Meanwhile, my so called teenage sex life consisted only of masturbation over magazines I managed to cop from the local store (not that it was much more than masturbation to begin with :) I started to smile more often and no longer felt obliged to stare at the floor when walking from class to class. I could respond to questions posed by teachers without the whole damn class snickering. Life slowly began to return to a semblance of normalcy. Some, but not many, of my male friends resumed as comrades in arms - and it's probably not so surprising that the majority of those that did return were quick to turn into my regular teen-crazed sex partners. Remember, this is a small town so the ridiculing and ostracizing would remain a daily part of my life until I eventually told that town to fuck off and left, only to return for funerals when absolutely necessary!! I made my last trip back to that town in 2006 to bury my Dad. Nothing is left there that could possibly entice me to return!!!
Nobody but myself and the others involved need to know names and details of my remaining years as a gay teenager. One generalization is this - the "closet" in that town turned out to be quite crowded quarters :)) I would get propositions from the young and the old, and I'm not just talkin' 'bout school kids!!
This pretty much concludes the truly negative part of my coming out in a small town. As you can see, the positives in life slowly began to return, with a few surprises even for me. I'll stop here and return later to take on the more positive remainder of my life as a gay teenager in a small, fucked up, one fuckin' horse town!
Be Gay, Be Str8, whatever's floating your boat -- but always BE SAFE!!
Jymbo
oxox
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