Continuing on with Teen Survival

So now the real damage begins. In the blink of an eye all my friends had vanished. Even my own older brother started behaving differently toward me, ever increasing the rift between us. My younger brother, on the other hand, was less affected and seemed more indifferent than shocked or angered - this most likely was because a few years later he "came out"!

This totally alone existence lasted for a few more weeks. Then for whatever reason, the female gender of my former friends started to trickle back. Meanwhile, my so called teenage sex life consisted only of masturbation over magazines I managed to cop from the local store (not that it was much more than masturbation to begin with :)  I started to smile more often and no longer felt obliged to stare at the floor when walking from class to class. I could respond to questions posed by teachers without the whole damn class snickering. Life slowly began to return to a semblance of normalcy. Some, but not many, of my male friends resumed as comrades in arms - and it's probably not so surprising that the majority of those that did return were quick to turn into my regular teen-crazed sex partners. Remember, this is a small town so the ridiculing and ostracizing would remain a daily part of my life until I eventually told that town to fuck off and left, only to return for funerals when absolutely necessary!! I made my last trip back to that town in 2006 to bury my Dad. Nothing is left there that could possibly entice me to return!!!

Nobody but myself and the others involved need to know names and details of my remaining years as a gay teenager. One generalization is this - the "closet" in that town turned out to be quite crowded quarters :)) I would get propositions from the young and the old, and I'm not just talkin' 'bout school kids!!

This pretty much concludes the truly negative part of my coming out in a small town. As you can see, the positives in life slowly began to return, with a few surprises even for me. I'll stop here and return later to take on the more positive remainder of my life as a gay teenager in a small, fucked up, one fuckin' horse town!

Be Gay, Be Str8, whatever's floating your boat -- but always BE SAFE!!

Jymbo
oxox

I Survived High School

This might be a long one so settle in :)

Yes! It is possible to survive High School!

Looking back I'm really not sure how I accomplished it; or rather, I'm not so sure that what I did was the best way to do it. One thing for sure, it's not really a great idea to grab a jock's jock in the locker room, at least not with 16 other half naked jocks wandering around playing their little jock games. It can be accepted behavior, though, if you and he are the only two remaining after all others have showered and moved on. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the 17 jocks and one Queer (the term "faggot" had not been termed yet and "gay" meant feeling good and having a wonderful time - see how it got transferred to us?) After all their laughing stopped and my crying began came the "homo" and "queer" remarks. And remembering this now, I'm not so sure that maybe a couple of those powerful, nasty, open handed slaps on my bare ass were a bit gentler than the others :)) No brusing or physical harm ensued from the ordeal. All the harm was purely psychological; which can sometimes take longer to heal. Everywhere I went for the remainder of the day was followed by whispers and snickers.

At home that night -- My mother had died from cancer not long before this so there was no help there. And Dad (who was actually my "step-father") was from such a drastically different generation that talking to him would have been worse than the locker room. Don't misunderstand me here, there wouldn't have been, nor was there ever, any physical misconduct delivered by my father! I call him my Dad because he married mother when I was about 18months - 2 years old and he raised me as his own. Even after mother died he continued to raise me and my older brother as his own. There was also a younger brother, my "half-brother" if you will, the offspring of mother & step-father. I give you these facts here for you to understand the atmosphere at home during my teen years. There wasn't a day that the house didn't reek of sadness!

Now back to the story. So, you have probably correctly guessed that by school the next day the whole town knew my sick secret; not just the school kids, the whole freakin' town!! And folks, this was in a time when the telephone was NOT in every household, so people had to actually do some leg work to get the gossip out.

Well, I guess this is a good place to stop before it gets so long that nobody wants to read it. I'll pick it up from here tomorrow. Besides, it's time for Glee!!!!!


Be Gay, Be Str8, whatever's floating your boat, but always BE SAFE!!


Jymbo
oxox

I'm Scared

Well, here I am again, sitting here wondering what the hell to do. I feel so out of place in this century. Kind of funny though, because I've been in love with the PC since they first arrived on the scene. But I was already an adult by then and I didn't have all this internet stuff growing up. I was forced to use my imagination, outdoors of all places, in the woods even!! Well, the woods were rather fun. Ever run naked in the woods :)) But I digress - I've even been on twitter for a few days now and haven't done one damn tweet yet! I'm scared!! Been on YouTube for a long, long time, think I've done any videos yet? I'm scared!! I did get some photos posted to flickr though. Flickr is for my xxx stuff (blush), my G stuff is already up on FaceBook. Not Scared!!

Its been a pretty routine day. Mood is good, even with the insomnia beast sneaking around the apartment. Dog is sound asleep (good thing she doesn't have insomnia, too)!! Did spend all morning at the clinic getting my pre-op crap taken care of for my next cysto - you know, blood draw, piss in a cup, EKG, chest x-rays, consult with the anesthesiologist, consult with the nurse - crap, crap, crap :(  If you don't know what a cysto (cystoscopy) is - they stick a tube with a camera on it into the urethra, all the way into the bladder and take a looky-looky to see if anything strange is growing in there. YUK!! Believe me, I make damn sure they have me numbed up pretty damn good before going in. I'm totally awake for the procedure, but if they find something that doesn't belong and need to take it out (with a steam shovel located beside the camera) then they give me a spinal and send me off into twilight land. Sounds like fun, huh!?! Certainly no "fun" for jimmy for a few days after :(!! Oh, and if they do shovel something out of me, I end up with a freakin' catheter bag strapped to my freakin' leg for a freakin' week!! Now that's FUN!! NOT

Now that I've completely grossed you out, I'll say good-bye. Might write more later, might not.

Stay gay, stay str8, whatever's floating your boat - but definitely Play Safe!!

Jymbo
oxox

Stepping into the 21st Century

Well, here I am. Got both feet planted in the 21st Century. In all actuality, for a long time I really didn't think I was going to make it this far. I really don't have an inkling what's going to happen here. Just hold on tight while I navigate this tug into waters that we all can appreciate.  Really, I don't know why I started this other than I felt guilty because I was reading someone's blog and I didn't have one for others to read.

 So ... check back again tomorrow. Maybe by then I will have come up with some ideas. I'd ask you for ideas but first of all this is My Blog and I'll do what I want to. [raspberry] Secondly, I doubt anyone is reading this anyway. [frown]

Stay Gay, Stay Straight, whatever's floating you boat!

Jymbo